How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie Full Review + Summary and Quotes

Book Summary

Dale Carnegie states in the book How to win friends and influence people expresses that communicating with others is more than an art, it plays a very vital role in matters such as earning more money and improving living conditions. At the beginning of the book, Carnegie talks about the power of admiring others and replacing it with criticism, how it makes people's good qualities stand out.

Instilling a sense of importance to the other party in our friendships is another point that the author points out and acknowledges that in its absence, people's lives will be destroyed. The author goes further and to love people means to accept them in whatever position they are, regardless of their job and social title, and considers it very important to treat them in the best possible way. He believes that with a very pleasant tone when talking to different people, congratulating them on their birthday, and even thanking them for the smallest favor sent to you, you can open a special place in their hearts.

Not neglecting the power of a smile is another lesson that is confirmed in the middle of the book. Contagiousness of smile even in the most difficult and heaviest moments and atmospheres and turning the atmosphere of discomfort into a calm and pleasant environment is a wonderful event that a person will be able to achieve by having this treasure. Addressing people in letters, or in other words, correspondence and conversations, as well as being a listener to their words and requests, is of great importance to Dale Carnegie, who, in his own way, provides details and examples of the necessity of their existence. He has spoken in creating friendship.

Talk to people about themselves and their hobbies, because almost all people like to talk about their interests, so a door will be opened for them to talk about them, and a unique connection will be formed between them and you. As so far, the author has talked about the positive ways to create a friendship relationship, he continues to talk about the flaws that make friendship impossible.

For example, getting into an argument that generally has no result, and both sides of an argument think that they are right, will have no result other than turning caring friends into stubborn enemies, and fighting with other people's opinions, from a human being. He makes a dictator that others will have no interest in hanging out with him and listening to his words.

The simple and practical method that Carnegie proposes in this book has other steps that you will get to know after reading the book completely and you will understand the depth of the content more. According to his suggestion, this written work should be read several times. And he practiced his teachings in different places and times.

About the Author

Dale Carnegie, a skilled writer in the field of self-belief and self-help, was born on November 24, 1988 in Missouri, USA. He studied at Warrensburg College for a while and then changed his field from teaching techniques to art. Examples of his works are: Unknown Lincoln, five-minute biographies and unheard facts of famous people, left behind that made him famous. This famous person died on November 1, 1955 in Forest Hills.

Who Should Read the Book?

People who regret most of the time why they can't win in arguments and are interested in making friends soon and even being named as a lovable character, reading this book is recommended for them.

The contents of the Book are divided into 4 main chapters, each of these chapters have their own sub-categories that include very small sections.1- do not kick 2- Six ways to make people like you. 3- How to bring people into your way of thinking. 4- Principles of good leadership

Book Quotes

I learned true love from a dog when he jumps up and down and shows his happiness when he sees his owner overjoyed.

Sometimes people just need two hearing ears to be able to speak easily.

Learn the art of listening. Sometimes opportunities come slowly.

Always encourage others, make their mistakes look small and what you want them to do look easy.

The direct path that gets us into other people's hearts is to talk about the things that matter most to them, not the things that matter to us. Speak up, then a lot of people will want to connect with you.

If you can predict what topic is closest to your listener's heart and talk about the latest developments in that field, then people will be amazed at how knowledgeable you are about the important issues in their lives. They like to talk to you for hours. It is the art of adapting yourself to the people you want to impress.

The truth is that everyone you meet has a high opinion of themselves and likes to be selfless people. J. Pierre Pont Morgan writes in one of his analytical articles: Every person usually has two reasons for what he does: one that seems good and one that is real.

Thomas says about this: Experience has taught me that when you can't have any information about the customer, it is better to base it on the assumption that he is an honest person, honest and ready to pay his debts, of course, if he can be convinced that these debts are correct, in other words, all people want They fulfill their obligations and are honest.

When talking to people, don't start the conversation with things you disagree with. Start with things you agree on, along with emphasis and maintain emphasis. In case of criticism, emphasize that you both want the same result and that your only disagreement is over methods, not goals.

A skilled speaker tries to receive a number of positive answers at the beginning of the speech, this causes the psychological process of the listeners to move in a positive direction.

Socrates is one of the world's greatest philosophers. He did what few men in history have been able to do. He changed the way of human thinking and now 25 centuries after his death, he is known as the wisest common man who influenced the thoughts of the world. The Chinese have a proverb that contains centuries of Eastern knowledge: He who goes slowly, goes a lot.

If you see that no one is smiling at you, look for the reason in your closed lips.

In order to achieve peace, one must draw an iron curtain over the past and future and only think about the present.

Laugh with others, not at others, accept others as they are.

There is only one way in the universe to make people do things, have you ever thought of this way? If not, I will tell you. That way or means is that you have to create the desire to do that work in the said person, remember, there is no other way than to interest the person and motivate him. The only way you can get someone to do something is to give them what they want.

I would like to begin the review by stating I have always found the title of this book incredibly off-putting. I understand that it is meant to draw a customer’s attention, but the title, to me, does not at all represent the product. This book is not a self-help book for people who want to make friends. It is a book that reiterates the basic tenants of leadership in a work environment. Point being, don’t let the kitsch title keep you from giving this book a chance, there is good information here.
My father handed this book to me when I was a young adult and I was about to make the leap into the working world. He told me that it held the keys to effective leadership. I bucked against reading it for a while before finally relenting (I was a precocious teenager and obviously already knew everything the world had to offer), and again, the title of the book seriously repelled me. Since initially relenting, I have now read this book multiple times throughout the years, and it never fails to pull me back into reality.
From time to time I even find myself subconsciously summarizing Carnegie while hosting leadership training or while mentoring my workers. This almost always prompts me to pick the book back up again. (I really enjoy reading through all of the notes Ive scribbled in the margins over the years. Its always an interesting dive into your own subconscious through the ability to see such a time capsule: what is basically a time-stamped example of opinions and the ever-changing priorities of your own ideals. That is neither here nor there though; my love for actual physical books as well as my preference for writing my responses and opinions all over the pages is not really relevant to this review. Just a tangent.)
What I find so intriguing about Carnegies concepts are that they are so obviously all just common sense. There are absolutely *zero* revelations here. You will learn nothing new about interpersonal relationships, leadership, or mentorship; every new chapter that you embark on is so in-your-face obvious that you almost want to smack your own forehead like an over-dramatic soap opera star; stating "OF COURSE".
Despite this fact; (I personally feel) it really is important to read all of these *truths* of life... ironically enough, exactly because they are such common sense statements:

** The "well, duh" aspect of Carnegies "rules" is the very same trait that allows us to breeze right on past them in our daily life. **

Because every single one of these "rules" is a statement that we all assume to be an innate and universally understood fact of human life, they are never actually in the forefront of our minds. This means that they become almost immediately forgettable because we already understand them to be true - and therefore we assume that they already inform our behavior; but in reality, we have simply acknowledged them as truth and stuffed them into a tiny little corner of our memory.
Reading Carnegies book shines a spotlight onto that corner, blows the mounds of dust off these ideas, and prompts us to compare our recent behaviors against these "known" truths.
This is the reason why I have read Carnegies book so many times. For me, it almost feels like re-orienting your personal compass. No matter how many times I pull these rules to the forefront of my consciousness, because of their nature as such obvious truths, they always subtly begin to slip back into the recesses of my mind. I like to pull out this book every so often and give my brain a nice jolt. There is no need to even sit down and read the entire book at once, it is organized as a list that is already categorized into sections relative to specific sub-tasks involved in interpersonal communication.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of Warren Buffett’s favorite books, so if you’re a working professional that’s probably enough to pique your interest. It was originally written in 1937 and draws key wisdom from the lives of Abraham Lincoln and contemporary psychology of the time, namely the works of Sigmund Freud. Despite this, the information remains relevant - which I find to be quite a feat. Many of the statements Carnegie makes are actually reminiscent of Skinner’s operant conditioning, although I don’t believe he ever outright states this.
To give a brief summary, the book is broken into segments titled: “techniques in handling people”, “ways to make people like you”, “win people to your way of thinking”, and “be a leader: how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment”. Each of these segments includes chapters that explain the subsequent “rules” and provide interesting examples. Again, I would like to point out that this is not a book for people looking to make friends; despite one of some of the segment titles, such as: “ways to make people like you”, it does not preach methods of fostering friendships - instead this particular segment is pertinent to leadership because of Carnegie’s statement earlier on that: people will never do anything unless they actually *want* to do so. This is a truth of life; you can use your position of power to compel (force) a person into completing a task, but unless you create an actual want or desire within that person, they will cease their actions as soon as that power is removed (or you turn your back). Thus, the segment about making people like you provides rules that are geared toward earning your worker’s trust and respect so that they actually want to work for you, vice using your position of power to essentially strong-arm them into doing your bidding. 
Here are the segments and rules:

Techniques in Handling People:  
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You:
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “you’re wrong”.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Again, this all seems like common sense when you read it, but in practice it does become much more difficult to stick to - especially when you personally are put-off (or simply just dislike) one or some of the people that you work with on a daily basis. It’s also difficult to remember that you are not always the person in the position of power; often you are on the other end of these situations and must give up the controlling position in the conversation - let them lead.
It’s key to keep in mind (and Carnegie reiterates this) that no matter what situation you walk into, whether you are the person who is leading the change, or whether you are the person who needs to undergo change, the person with whom you are conversing ALWAYS believes that they are superior to you in some way. It does not matter how exceptional or horrible their work performance may be, they truly and sincerely believe that they are the superior person even if they do not state this, and even if they pander to you as if you are someone they look up to.
Carnegie also emphasizes how important it is to avoid arguments. He states that even if you “win” an argument you are still the loser. The results are all negative. You never want to humiliate a person, you will loose the trust and respect that you’ve worked to build. He quotes and old saying “A man convinced against his will/Is of the same opinion still”; meaning they may relent in the moment, but in actuality you may have solidified their original opinion by putting them in a position to defend it. Its quite difficult to avoid arguments because it’s human nature to meet aggression with aggression - we have to consciously make the choice to sit back and let a person release their ill-will without meeting them there. Take that verbal beating!
The biggest point I always get from reading this book is how paramount and fragile the human ego is. It’s the driving factor behind the opinions and actions of every human on earth. At the end of the way, everyone is concerned with themselves. There are no truly selfless acts, someone is always “getting something” (fulfilling some need) from their actions, even if it is simply a feeling of importance or happiness. Every single person on earth is starved for attention and/or recognition in some way. They want to be seen, no matter if they are willing to admit this to others (or even to themselves). If you can fulfill that need for them, you’ve got them. It is so key to simply make it known that “I see you”.
Anyway, I know this is a long and winding review, but my points are thus: if you are looking for a self-help book that will provide teachings on how to make friends, this is not for you. If you are a working professional who is, or may be placed into, a position of leadership - this book is definitely for you. Even if you do not think you need any advice (because you’ve obviously already the best!), this book is priceless. It not only provides you insight into your own actions, but gives you a window into the actions and choices of those you work with/for. As stated, we are not always the main player in a situation, sometimes we are the person that this book talks about dealing with. Sitting back and letting the other person take charge (while understanding where they are coming from) also makes us better workers. Everyone is both a subordinate and a leader; everyone has someone else they answer to. A full birds-eye view of the situation can only provide us with more tools for our toolbox!

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the most influential books I have ever read. It is a classic that has helped millions of people achieve success and happiness in their personal and professional lives. The book is based on Carnegie’s extensive research and experience in human relations, psychology, and communication. It teaches you how to interact with people effectively, how to persuade them to your point of view, how to handle conflicts and criticism, and how to become a leader and a friend.
The book is divided into four parts, each containing several chapters that explain a specific principle or technique. The principles are simple, practical, and easy to apply. They are illustrated with stories and examples from Carnegie’s own life and from the lives of famous and successful people, such as Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, and others.
Some of the principles that I found most useful and powerful are:
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, try to understand and appreciate the other person’s point of view and feelings.
Become genuinely interested in other people. Show them respect and attention, and they will like you and trust you.
Smile. A smile is a simple but powerful way to express your friendliness and warmth, and to make a good first impression.
Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Use it often and correctly, and you will make the person feel important and valued.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves, and listen attentively and empathetically. This will make them feel understood and respected, and they will open up to you more.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Find out what the other person cares about, and talk about it. This will make them feel that you share their interests and values, and they will be more receptive to your ideas and suggestions.
Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely. Praise their achievements, recognize their efforts, and express your gratitude and appreciation. This will boost their self-esteem and confidence, and they will be more willing to cooperate and help you.
These are just some of the many valuable lessons that I learned from this book. I have applied them in my personal and professional life, and I have seen amazing results. I have improved my relationships with my family, friends, and colleagues. I have become more confident, persuasive, and influential.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their communication and interpersonal skills, and to achieve success and happiness in life.

Title: Timeless Wisdom for Meaningful Connections - A Must-Read Classic!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a true masterpiece that has stood the test of time, offering invaluable insights into the art of building meaningful connections. This book is not just a guide; its a transformative journey that has left an indelible mark on countless readers, and Im no exception.

Carnegies principles are not about manipulation but rather genuine understanding and respect for others. The emphasis on active listening, showing genuine interest, and acknowledging the importance of every individual resonates deeply. Ive found the principles to be applicable in various aspects of my life, from personal relationships to professional interactions.

The books teachings on effective communication, empathy, and the power of a positive attitude are as relevant today as they were when first penned. Each chapter is filled with practical advice, real-life anecdotes, and actionable steps that empower readers to enhance their interpersonal skills.

Whether youre a seasoned professional or someone navigating personal relationships, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" provides a roadmap for success. The emphasis on kindness, understanding, and the genuine desire to help others has the potential to create a positive ripple effect in both your personal and professional life.

In a world where authentic connections are often overlooked, this book serves as a timeless reminder of the impact that empathy and sincere appreciation can have. I wholeheartedly recommend "How to Win Friends & Influence People" to anyone seeking to enrich their relationships and make a positive difference in the lives of those around them. A classic that deserves a place on every bookshelf!

This is a book that is timeless in teaching how to best communicate and work with others. Dave has great insight into human nature and what other people want, and teaches you how to tap into that to ultimately achieve better communication without any emotional outrages. This book will benefit anyone who reads it.

In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I dont see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other persons good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a persons name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other persons interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other peoples opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit youre wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other persons viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a persons attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.

This book is a timepiece classic, written in the 1930’s, I heard about it several times in my 35 years of life and finally decided to see what all the talk was about. Dale Carnegie addresses personal character growth in manners from all works of life, many of which he managed to actually encounter while on his own personal path of achieving success. His teachings come both his real life experiences (that he seems to easily recall) as well as the experiences of those he met on his journey. The book is laid out simply with chapters in an outlined organization that ties it all together fashionably. This would be the first book I’d recommend to anyone who’s looking to even take their first steps in improving relationships with all people - family, coworkers, friends and most importantly, their own selves.

I bought this copy for my son. He has read it twice and it has helped him in life. I have it digitally and try to read it cover to cover once per year. I often pull it out and read parts or a chapter for a refresh. It is a classic. If youre having a hard time getting what or where you want, read this book. For every 5 minutes reading, you must practice what you read for 15. Opportunity will open for you, you must be ready and willing. This book helps with everyday situations in communication and controlling communication. Put your eyes over every word and let your mind soak it in. Your mind will recall the information when you need it. I have to read it regularly to ensure the knowledge is there to use, you may not have to.

This really is a good book. Didn’t realize how old it was and still relevant to this day. There were small moments that felt like it was rambling on but a good 97% was all good material. And there are courses that are used in business world. How to listen to people, how to treat people, and how to talk to people. This really is a great book for human relations especially if you’re a social person and would like to improve your communication skills. I absolutely recommend reading this. I greatly enjoyed it and shared my thoughts with my coworkers.

My favorite book, read it a few times

this book can change your life
from spouse to children to friends and of course your job or business